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Fic: This Could Get Awkward

Title: This Could Get Awkward
Author: reeby10
Fandom: The Avengers, Young Avengers, Marvel
Pairing: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Genre: humor, family
Rating: PG
Warning: none; asexual characters, sex talk
Length: oneshot, <500
Summary: Kate's sex talk from her dads turns out a little differently than expected.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Archived: AO3, tumblr
A/N: I ran across some asexual!ClintCoulson fic last week and decided to try something like that on my own. I hope I did alright representing them, though there's really not much explanation or description in text. It's really up to interpretation and doesn't make any difference to the story, but I was thinking both Clint and Phil are asexual, but Clint is biromantic while Phil is homoromantic :)

There is one line of Russian at the end, hover over it for the translation.

---

“Now Aunt Natasha is going to come in and explain about sex.”

Kate scowled, obviously uncomfortable and annoyed, and shifted around on her bed. “Why is she the one doing it?” she sneered, crossing her arms. “Because I'm a girl?”

Phil rolled his eyes, but Clint merely grinned. “No,” he said, eyes dancing, “because we're your dads so that could get awkward. Plus, neither one of us has had sex so we didn't think it would go over quite as well.”

“You... what?” Kate sputtered, jaw dropping and eyes wide. “But you... you... you haven't... you don't... but you're married!”

“We are,” Phil said, smiling as he grabbed his husband's hand. Clint grinned back at him, relaxing back in his chair. “And we love each other very much. We just don't have sex.”

Kate stared between them, trying to fit this revelation in to her view of her parents. She took a deep breath. “I don't get it,” she finally said, trying to keep the whine out of her voice but probably failing.

Phil sighed, but Kate could tell he wasn't really annoyed by the way his mouth quirked at one corner. “I suppose it would be ok to give you the talk on sexualities and romances beforehand,” he mused.

She nodded eagerly, making Clint chuckle. She stuck her tongue out at him, then looked back at Phil, expectant and a little wary.

“I'm sure by now you know about some different sexualities,” Phil said, voice calm and level.

He waited for her nod of confirmation before continuing, though it wasn't really needed. She would have to be quite oblivious to not know some after growing up with two dads and the Avengers as aunts and uncles. “Sexual attraction isn't the only factor. There's also romantic attraction...”

By the time the talk finished, Kate's head was spinning with all of the new information. Her dads had been quite forthcoming in explaining their own relationship, something she knew would take a bit before she totally understood. But that was ok, they were still her dads and she knew they loved each other as much as they loved her.

In the end, she just hugged them both and told them to go away, it was Aunt Natasha's turn. They kissed the side of her head, laughing as she theatrically wiped the kisses off, before leaving the room hand in hand.

Natasha came in a moment later, a huge grin on her face. “And now for the good stuff, немного ястреб.”

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November 2017

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