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Thank you to all my friends

On this last day of the year, I just want to talk a little about how thankful I am for my friends, especially the irl ones. This would probably have been more appropriate around Thanksgiving, but I just got back from celebrating Christmas with each side of my family and it's really reminded me how amazing my friends are and how lucky I am to have them.

My family, like many families unfortunately, is very strictly Christian and very racist and sexist and generally bigoted. Both my mom's side and my dad's are like that, though there are definitely some differences. We spent about 4 days at my grandmother's house out in the boonies and it was less boring this year and I think I even heard less bigoted shit, but it's obvious how no one really gets along spending very long with each other and how my grandmother cares more about her perceptions of her religion than she does about any of us, except maybe the little kids. Food was mostly not a problem because we brought a lot of stuff specifically for me, I just had to cook most of my own meals. We spent about three days at my grandparent's house slightly less in the boonies and it started out really well because I spent the whole first evening playing Cards Against Humanity with the cousins who are close to my age, but the next day half of them were gone and it was mostly the bigoted old people I had to deal with. Even beside that, food turned out to be a pretty big problem because I ate almost all the food I'd brought by the middle of the second day and no one seemed to care that there was nothing for me to eat.

That, the feeling I get that none of them really care, is the biggest problem I have with my family, both distant and immediate but minus the sibling. I know both sides of my family are very... nondemonstrative and distant from what I hear/see from other people, but it doesn't make it any easier to be forgotten or dismissed so easily.

Which makes my friends all the more important. My friends from college, most of whom I haven't seen that much since we graduated, had a holiday/birthday/graduation party a few weeks ago. The graduation part was for a few of our other friends, and the birthday part was for me. They gave me wonderful gifts and made sure to have food I could eat, even puying some delicious specialty cupcakes that were probably pretty expensive. I felt so loved and happy. I see my high school friends far more often, once a week if we can manage, and that reminded me not to take them for granted because they also make sure to always have plenty of food I can eat and always support me. My other friends, internet ones and internet ones who have become irl ones, shouldn't be forgotten because they've always been wonderful to me as well, though of course in different ways. They all mean so so much to me.

Sometimes because of how much my family sucks I forget that I really do have an amazing support system and way more friends than I probably deserve. They are wonderful and beautiful and brilliant and I love them all so much! I'm sure that includes you if you're reading this, so hugs and kisses and thank you for being so amazing! <3



November 2017



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