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a bit of a life update

So I've mostly been doing fandom and meme posts lately, sorry to those of you who aren't interested in that sort of thing. There just hasn't been much interesting to say lately, or time to write up a post.

Still working at the library and I think it's becoming more boring the more I get used to it.I guess I just don't feel like I'm doing anything important or worthwhile, you know? Like I know libraries are important and I'm very grateful for them, but working there... it's mostly sitting around doing nothing while I wait for someone to need help with printing or attaching a file to an email or submitting a job application or whatever. I like most of my coworkers and I'm happy to be able to help people, but it just doesn't feel like enough. I want something more and this job is starting to feel stagnant after only a few weeks, like I'll be trapped working there and living here, which I don't want to happen. The job I'm temping for hasn't been actually opened yet, but my boss keeps telling me she wants me to apply as soon as it is and I agreed that I would but... I don't actually want to. The problem is, I feel like I have to bc I need the money even if I hate having so little free time to do things I actually enjoy.

And I guess the bigger problem is that I don't know what I do want to do if not this. I know I want to do something creative, something exciting or at least interesting, something where I'll feel like I'm helping ppl and making a difference, and something that will allow me to live at least comfortably for once in my life. I love my crafting business, but it's never made enough money and I don't have the time to devote to making it more profitable. I've been saying for years that I want to edit, but I just don't know if I can handle full time work. I'm barely making it through as it is, so just doing part time or freelance editing would be nice, but that brings up the issue of making enough money again. The past couple days I've also been thinking about going to grad school, probably for anthropology bc I miss it a lot. Again, though, money, plus time to research and get recommendations and apply. But I do really want to move away from here bc I feel sufocated living here for so long and doing the same things over and over. I need variety and excitement, and that's just not happening here for me.

*sighs* I just don't know.

In other news, it's been raining buckets since yesterday, some flooding in surrounding areas and electricity outs in parts of the city. Thankfully we haven't really been affected so far, though we're not sure my mom's garden will survive the deluge. Shame, I was looking forward to the purple pepper she said was coming in. I did a craft fair tonight and it was supposed to be outside, but they moved us inside. I didn't even break even, but idk if that was the rain or not...

Also, anyone have podcast recs? I'm gonna catch up on WtNV and I've downloaded a few to try on the drive to work since I'm sick to death of all the music they play on the radio, but it's always nice to see what everyone else likes.

Comments

Regarding work feeling stagnant, can you ask for a project to work on? Library work can be tedious, and we're usually scrambling for things for our reference aides to do while they're being available to help patrons. I keep my sanity by putting together our monthly newsletter (which I started doing while I was an aide) - maybe there's something your library needs (or doesn't know they need) that you can provide?
If that isn't in the cards, I hope you find something that works for you AND pays enough for you to live on.
It's a library, you'd think it would be possible to do creative things there as well? Aren't there activities you could plan, posters you could help make or... something? I guess it depends on what sort of library you're working at. :/
Libraries often have games/movies/activities for kids. You could talk to the kids (especially the older ones) who are your regulars and see if they'd be up to a book discussion, a game night, something that would get them together, get them talking. Changing and helping the world through children - that's me, as an elementary teacher. It feels repetitive, dealing with administration is a headache and a half, but overall, creating lessons (programs) that teach kids things is the one part of the job that I always love.
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November 2017

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