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do I sound as pathetic as I feel?

My friend N got engaged recently and today I met with her and a couple more friends to look at wedding dresses. It was a lot more fun than I thought it would be and it was really good to hang out with everyone, especially J who I've only seen a few times since we graduated high school. I think I'm one of the bridesmaids for the wedding, N told the lady at the shop there were four and there were four of us, but she hasn't actually asked any of us yet. So we'll have to see about that. But anyway, it was nice and I'm looking forward to some more dress shopping and wedding planning in the upcoming months.

The only problem was, as is usual when I'm with friends who are in relationships, I started to get a bit down about myself. N is obv happy what with planning to get married. K broke off an engagement in January and has been seeing a new guy for the past few months. J is serious with a guy and there's a possiblity he might propose over Christmas. MK just broke it off with a guy and N is trying to set her up with her friend T. I've never been in a relationship, never even really been on a date. I want to be in a relationship, but I don't know how to meet ppl or flirt or whatever else. All the wedding and relationship talk just started to get to me, especially when I realized everyone was asking about everyone else's relationships and what was up, but no one asked me. I mean, I'm sure they know I'm not seeing anyone, but it made me feel a little pathetic, that me in a relationship didn't seem to cross anyone's minds. On top of that, I've been nursing a kind of low key crush on T for awhile, which I'm not really surprised no one noticed since I'm pretty crap at social interactions.

So I dunno, I've just been feeling really sorry for myself since I got home tonight and I'm not sure what to do about it. Try to meet someone, I guess, though I don't really do anything but work and hanging at a friend's house every week or so. I could try okcupid again, but there's so much shit to wade through that I'm kind of fed up with it just thinking about it lol To top it off, I've got a cold or something and my 24th birthday is in a week and a half, which has me feeling even worse than I probably would since it just means another year sad and single :/


You're not pathetic. :(
I don't know if this will help at all, but I met my husband in my late twenties, and believe me, I was not actively trying to meet anyone (in a romantic sense) at the time. You never know where your decisions will lead you, so just do things that make you happy and maybe you'll meet someone along the way.
I know that sounds trite, and it's hard to wait for something you want. I wish you the best of luck.
That does help :) Thank you!
You are not pathetic! I got together with lilacsigil in my late twenties, and we've been together for nearly twenty years. I think part of the reason we're so good together is because we were a bit older - we're better at figuring out relationship stuff and putting in the work to make it a good thing. Be patient and trust yourself.

Edited at 2015-11-30 10:59 am (UTC)
Thank you!
I have had two friends who met people on match.com and ended up getting married. One of those friends was super social too, but just didn't like frequenting bars/didn't want to waste that time. They recommend the site because they said it was easy to specify what they were looking for and the guys on there were much more serious than okcupid etc.

Plus, guys age 20-24 usually have no idea what it is they want and they suck at dating (imo). Guys after 25 are so much better to date. And those guys usually are not on okcupid. I say this because I dated younger guys up until I got with my boyfriend, and he's 28 (I'm 25). I met him through a friend, but when all your friends are too busy with their relationships, a more serious dating site might be the way to go.
I may have to give that site a try, okcupid has definitely not been living up to expectations. Thank you!
You're not pathetic! I feel like that's a very real feeling. I know I've been in the "everyone is getting engaged/married and I want to too!" boat. I met my fiance on okcupid. He was the only one I actually went out with.
Glad to hear I'm not alone in feeling that then. Thank you :)
Thank you *hugs*

March 2019



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